Is Virtual School The Answer? Helping Our Clients Manage Social Anxiety, School Avoidance, and School Choice

Hoping to offer parents autonomy over students’ learning, Oldham County Public Schools recently invited district families to submit feedback regarding a possible all-virtual learning option for OCPS students. Jefferson County and other larger districts in Kentucky have offered similar all-virtual programs for several years, even prior to the COVID-19 pandemic. In my clinical work, I’ve encountered parents who feel that virtual learning is a better option for their anxious child, or for a child who might have dealt with bullying or other interpersonal stressors. Parents who contend with their child’s school anxiety often feel that moving to a virtual option might potentially alleviate a family’s biggest stressor. 

As psychology practitioners, professionals, and students, many of us may immediately worry for children who are not allowed opportunities to socialize at school. Children who contend with social anxiety may find temporary reprieve from symptoms when allowed to avoid stressful situations, but there often remains persisting symptomology that lies in wait. Additionally, schools offer benefits beyond socialization such as support, meals, interaction with teachers who can monitor for issues like learning problems, abuse, and other concerns which might impede healthy learning and development. And it goes without saying: Students learn from teachers, but they also learn by watching their peers. 

At the same time, proponents of remote learning emphasize the myriad ways in which interpersonal stressors and dysfunction (like bullying, relational aggression, and peer conflict) can interrupt or stunt a child’s learning. While much data during the last four years has suggested ways in which children’s learning suffered while engaged in mandated virtual learning, it is difficult to disaggregate data about mental health under the virtual learning condition from the general stress and duress experienced by young people (and all of us) during that time, to fully understand how virtual learning truly fared.  

How do we, as psychology professionals, help families to navigate current stressors in a child which might conceivably have a parent consider avoiding a brick and mortar school altogether, versus helping a parent keep their child at school? How do we recognize and support parental autonomy, while at the same time considering all that schools do to support a child’s healthy development? When the question of school choice/avoidance arises during our work, there are questions that we can ask to help clients and their families understand the nuances and gray areas of the virtual vs. in-person options. 

First, when faced with school avoidance, what patterns have parents noticed with regard to the emergence of symptoms? Is a certain class, teacher, peer, or time of the day most problematic, in the child’s perception?

How much pressure is a child experiencing regarding their academic performance? How much do they identify and draw interpretations about their worth from their issues at school? Do they have agency to engage in what they consider to be fulfilling activities outside of the classroom? 

How well do parents understand the implications of reduced socialization on children? The desire to help alleviate a child’s current anxiety by reducing exposure to stressors is compelling. How can we translate research regarding socialization and mental health so that parents understand the “long game” of social development? 

In a world where many workers are fighting to maintain work from home arrangements with employers, how do we support families in making their own choice about a child’s learning environment, and understanding the differing benefits of working from home for adults versus virtual learning for children. 

How do we teach families to advocate to find the school in their community that is the best fit for their child?

What methods for virtual support (either from peers, school personnel, or mental health providers) can parents enlist to help children who exhibit symptoms of social anxiety?

As the world continues a pivot to remote work in many industries and academic settings, how do we help children learn and thrive, while also understanding how the paradigms have shifted? These are big questions that old data may not be prepared to answer. As such, it may be useful for us as psychology professionals to consider helping clients and communities navigate these and other questions to help them identify the right and best choice.